Woman Allegedly Hires Hit Man for Cheese

[link]

Thanks Chr|s!

"In an unusual case of mistaken identity, a woman who thought a block of white cheese was cocaine is charged with trying to hire a hit man to rob and kill four men. The woman also was mistaken about the hit man. He turned out to be an undercover police officer."

Green Bay Packers' fans
Frozen Tundra of despair
Cheese Heads' lives crumble

Man Burns Himself Trying To Extract Meth From His Urine

[link]

Via the Obscure Store...

"There was a scientific method to Daniel Zeiszler's madness when he tried to extract methamphetamine from his own urine, after smoking the illegal street drug last September in his South San Francisco hotel room."

Small, light blue drug lab
Cops crack down on Meth-i-Cans
Urine trouble, sir

Ford Bends to American Family Association on Gay Rights Support

[link 1 | link 2]

"According to a list of demands on AFA's website, the organization insisted Ford and all of its brands stop donating – whether with cash, vehicles or endorsements – to homosexual social activities...This includes donations to 'gay pride' parades and pride weekend celebrations; homosexual organizations such as the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Human Rights Campaign and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force; and ending all advertising on homosexual websites and other gay media outlets."

Christ (no pun intended)...and I drive a Mazda...

When bankruptcy looms...
And your cars are piles of shit...
Jesus drives a Probe

Seniors Seeking Medicare Information Routed To Sex Line

[link]

"A message at the wrong number directed callers to 'Intimate Encounters,' which offered service for $2.99 or 99 cents per minute, depending on what callers want."

"What are you wearing?"
Sultry government voice asks
"Mumu and Depends"