RE: "Teat-Seeking" Robots Milk Cows [3/20/03]

To think of it does make me shudder
That scientists feel they must putter
Around with a tube
and some hoses like Rube
Goldberg just to suck on an udder

The latest device for the farm
is a sucker attached to an arm.
But if you get randy,
Don't stick in your Jim Dandy.
Belive me, it causes great harm.

RE: Optimus Prime Heads To The Middle East [3/20/03]

Saddam, here comes Optimus Prime
To topple your evil regime.
The outcome is so foregone,
You evil Decepticon!
The French will send Pierre the mime.

Our last hope is Optimus Prime.
He'll stamp out Saddam's life of crime.
If not, then make no mistake,
We'll fry him with Easy-Bake.
Hell, I'll take any rhyme in wartime.

The Middle East needs a reformer,
But first we'll send in a transformer.
Be he robot or truck,
Prime'll bring us good luck.
He's always a decent performer.

I'm thinking of changing my name
To enhance my career and bring fame.
What the outcome of war be,
Rear Admiral Barbie,
Let Skipper take most of the blame!

RE: Cameroon Bans Urine 'Health Drink' [3/18/03]

I can't warn more strongly than this:
It's no good when you drink your own piss.
It won't cure your 'rhoid
To drink what you void.
So enough of this pee-drinking bliss!

It still is a mystery to me
Who first said, "let's drink our own pee!"
It's no more a cure
Than drinking liquor.
And certainly much less germ-free.

Drink piss and you'll land in the joint.
How else can I make clear this point?
If you're in Cameroon,
Then you'd better stop soon.
They'll stop you mid-gulp at gunpoint.

RE: Fatty Meat-Fumes Contribute To Houston Haze [3/18/03]

the skies o'er ol' houston are hazy
with meat, though I know it seems crazy
but breathing the air-y in
not vegetarian?
inhale. a snack for the lazy.

RE: Banana Squash Seed Messages Intrigue Restaurant Owner [3/17/03]

a restauranteur was quite bored
so over some squash seeds he pored
you'd think it ironic
to get hooked on phonics
he nearly went out of his gourd